OH Shit!

Atheist: I can’t believe this shit!

Agnostic: Shit might have happened; then again, maybe not.

Buddhist: Shit will happen, keep a clear mind.

Zen Buddhist: What is the sound of shit happening?

Calvinist: Shit happens because you don’t work.

Catholic: If shit happens, you deserve it.

Hindu: This shit has happened before.

Presbyterian: This shit was bound to happen.

Capitalist: That’s MY shit.

Communist: It’s everybody’s shit.

Rastafarian: Let’s smoke this shit!

Darwinist: This shit was once food.

Gardener: Shit helps plants grow.